Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Crazy comes in all kinds of flavors

Having this yard up for 12+ years, you can bet we have talked to all kinds of people.

Nice, rude, drunk, obnoxious, stupid, grateful, stalker-but-really-nice people.....and they are fine, 99% of the people that come by are lovely.  Really.....except for the occasional "crazy"

And crazy comes in all kinds of flavors.

There is christian crazy - probably the most popular, followed by crazy pagan, crazy ghost hunter, and lastly "my kid deserves to get by the fence" crazy.

Now I am not saying that any or all of those people are crazy....they are fine.  I love hearing people tell me what they are doing with their church group, or how you celebrate Samhain...and I do love ghost stories, could listen to them all day.....and you can always ask if we will let you back in the yard.....asking is good, never know, maybe that sign is just a "test" to see if you will ask.....could happen.

Anyway....all that is good.  Fine, fine...no worries.

But then every once in a while the universe throws out a "crazy"

The lady that asked us to close the haunt is not "crazy" no, crazy is when you walk up to me and ask me about my religious beliefs to be sure that I am not decorating for satan. -  Really, you should shake my hand and ask my name before you start interrogating me....and at that point, my "crazy" comes out and I have to go find husband or I kick into that.....hum, what can I say that will be equally offensive? I have to not talk at this point.  It is never ever good when that mean frog queen switch flips on.  Never.

Or the pagan that comes running at me - literally I thought I was going to have to step aside because she was trying to tackle me! "I hear you so this because you are a pagan!! (grabbing both of my sholders) What a great way to celebrate the holiday....I think we should get a group of us (pagans) together and have an event here."

You do....wow, I don't ..... :D 

And, please let go of my sholders now.....

Same crazy as the christian, just different flavor and the same switch flips on, and I have to find husband.....seriously people, manners. 

Walk slowly or normally, extend your hand and say "Hi, I am "crazy persons name goes here", can I ask you a few questions?"

You will get a lot farther with that, crazy or not, trust me.

And the crazy ghost hunters.  Ah, I do love them.  They make me laugh until they start to annoy the crap out of me.  Seriously, don't ask me if the ghosts in the yard are real....you should know better than me. :D 

I always say...."no, real ghosts are too unreliable and those seances take a lot out of a girl....and really....are you blind!?" See I told you that when the mean frog queen switch clicks on I must remove myself from society....it is safer for everyone.  :D

And I do love hearing about your ghost stories ......at least the first 10 or so ....after that, I start to lose the will to live and that is when my phone starts ringing (I have it on vibrate, that is why you did not hear it....yeah, that is the story I am sticking to!) and I have to go.

And asking me if I believe in ghosts is just like asking my religious beliefs.....not something I am going to answer in a crowd of people....mass debate is not one of my strong suits.  And I have been alive long enough to know that someone will be offended by what ever answer I give.

Not that I do not want to talk to any of you.  Really, I don't mind.  But as you can see....there is a huge frickin' Halloween display over my shoulder....I might be a bit busy.  Leave me a comment card and we can chat and share pictures after Halloween....


....and by the way....NO amount of begging is going to convince me to let you or your children/sister/brother/mother/father/dog/cat/goldfish/tarantula (that is for you Dan, just in case you were thinking of bringing them) on the property.  You are not getting behind the fence.

Now that I think about it....a big wad of cash might work (we are talking 20s - no ones).....yeah, I think I would bend the rules for that one :D

Other than those people the rest of you that visit the yard are fantastic!!! We loves you!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. LMAO!! Poor Frog Queen...I think you need a sign I saw that says..."Don't make me send out the Flying Monkeys!!"

    Perhaps you need body guards next year...

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