Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I did not completely forget

about this blog....well, I guess I did kinda.

But I read this on my good friends blog at Me Smash and thought it might be a bit off topic for the Frog on the Pumpkin....but here....yes, it works just fine.

Thanks my friend. And yes, or course, I will get right on that sarcasm font. :D

Not the top 10 pickup lines, but still funny

1. Part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
(Ah, Mr. Davis, will you clear my computer history if I die?)

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
(Mrs. Davis, can you get right on this one? I could really use it.)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
(Seriously.)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
(Lamest one.)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
(ugh)

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
(Apparently the may also make for entertaining obituaries.)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
(This really freaks me out.)

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
(I’ve also labeled them “Do Not Answer”, “Do Not Answer 2″ and so on.)

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.